Spring has settled in the foothills and it is a hard time for me since I haven't yet regained full mobility of my left knee.
I came a long way if I remember how I felt two months ago, right after surgery. However, the air is too sweet to skip a walk, the sky is too blue to resist a hike. Oh! I miss my knee.
But this morning, as I went through moments of doubt, impatience and even (oh! I hate this) self-pity, I learned something.
I woke up early and brought my first cup of tea outside on the patio. A light breeze played in the palm trees. Dozens of birds busied themselves in the yard, gathering tiny twigs and weeds to build their nests.
Each year, this is a festival of birds right here in my yard. I always love watching them. But today, I took more time observing and admiring their patience as they struggled with their heavy loads of nest material. One of them was especially tenacious and it took all of its strength to lift some straw up to its nest.
So when the bird had reached its nest, I limped back inside my house.
My green tea sipped watching the bird held the promise of a great day. I did my knee exercises, focusing on my improvement instead of lamenting on the slow progress. Hope was palpable as I pulled my knee closer to my chest.
Half an inch at a time.
Like the little bird in my yard.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
March 28th, 2011
Starting my six weeks of physical therapy before my next check-up with the surgeon.
This weekend had ups and downs but this morning when I woke up at 6, I felt pretty good and barely limped to the bathroom and then kitchen. I was looking forward to the day which I have been trying to do even though when I was in pain. But today marked a definite return to my usual upbeat attitude. I swallowed my last Vitamin C pill. I should get more vitamins. I had breakfast with my two younger kids and drove them to school. I had time for a latte before therapy.
Early morning is a perfect time to be at Thrive. It is quiet and everyone is ready for a great day. My therapist told me I could bike 5 minutes and even 7 if I felt fine. I did a few hamstring stretches before and biking felt okay. I am using a stationary bile with a backseat and I was still a little tense. But after the hour of exercises and work on my knee, I was more comfortable and biked five more minutes before being iced. I covered one mile! Okay, I used to walk at least six miles a day. Still, I see more than the shores of hope.
My muscles are tense although I don't feel it and my therapist recommended therapy massages. One of the young women who works as a PT at Thrive is also a massage therapist and I will schedule a weekly session with her. Last week I felt a huge improvement after she massaged my entire leg. So I'm aiming for muscle relief which should help to retrieve a more fluid gait.
Another exercise I did much better today is the one mimicking climbing stairs. Step on a wooden block with the injured leg while the good leg is brought to the chest. Hold the position for a couple of seconds with or without hand support against a mirror or a wall. I managed to do a few without my hands. Yeah!!!
My drive home was beautiful. Sun is back and the foothills are green and blue. Snow caps the summits and there is no better place to be now.
The mountains call me !
This weekend had ups and downs but this morning when I woke up at 6, I felt pretty good and barely limped to the bathroom and then kitchen. I was looking forward to the day which I have been trying to do even though when I was in pain. But today marked a definite return to my usual upbeat attitude. I swallowed my last Vitamin C pill. I should get more vitamins. I had breakfast with my two younger kids and drove them to school. I had time for a latte before therapy.
Early morning is a perfect time to be at Thrive. It is quiet and everyone is ready for a great day. My therapist told me I could bike 5 minutes and even 7 if I felt fine. I did a few hamstring stretches before and biking felt okay. I am using a stationary bile with a backseat and I was still a little tense. But after the hour of exercises and work on my knee, I was more comfortable and biked five more minutes before being iced. I covered one mile! Okay, I used to walk at least six miles a day. Still, I see more than the shores of hope.
My muscles are tense although I don't feel it and my therapist recommended therapy massages. One of the young women who works as a PT at Thrive is also a massage therapist and I will schedule a weekly session with her. Last week I felt a huge improvement after she massaged my entire leg. So I'm aiming for muscle relief which should help to retrieve a more fluid gait.
Another exercise I did much better today is the one mimicking climbing stairs. Step on a wooden block with the injured leg while the good leg is brought to the chest. Hold the position for a couple of seconds with or without hand support against a mirror or a wall. I managed to do a few without my hands. Yeah!!!
My drive home was beautiful. Sun is back and the foothills are green and blue. Snow caps the summits and there is no better place to be now.
The mountains call me !
Sunday, March 27, 2011
March 27th, 2011
Ups and downs that will be, probably, part of my life for a while.
Some moments seem almost as if I would regain my gait in a blink. Some are depressing when I feel my knee locked in place.
My limited mobility gives me more time to read and write which are my most favorite things to do besides walking.
This afternoon, I read parts of the New York Times and although I almost always skip the Sports Sunday Section, my eye caught a title that could only interest me: For Female Athletes, A.C.L. Injuries Take a Toll.
I recommend it since the article highlights the reasons why women are more prone to this knee injury than men.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/27/sports/ncaabasketball/27acl.html?_r=1&src=me&ref=sports
Some moments seem almost as if I would regain my gait in a blink. Some are depressing when I feel my knee locked in place.
My limited mobility gives me more time to read and write which are my most favorite things to do besides walking.
This afternoon, I read parts of the New York Times and although I almost always skip the Sports Sunday Section, my eye caught a title that could only interest me: For Female Athletes, A.C.L. Injuries Take a Toll.
I recommend it since the article highlights the reasons why women are more prone to this knee injury than men.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/27/sports/ncaabasketball/27acl.html?_r=1&src=me&ref=sports
Friday, March 25, 2011
March 25th, 2011
I woke up with the will to start my day with a fluid gait and it has worked quite well. Until I forgot to stand up regularly from my computer. A Mac Air can be quite addictive, let me tell you.
Anyway, the lesson is: stick to your daily exercises and many more flexions and extensions, even though progress is around the corner. I paid for my mistake and will definitely remember to stretch that leg.
I managed to water all of my potted plants which takes half an hour even with a good knee. But I did fine, pruning some dead flowers here and there.
Rain has left California but not for long. Another storm is on its way, perhaps as early as tonight.
Tomorrow is my monthly book club and I can't wait to see my friends. I have missed one meeting after my surgery.
So the weekend should be nice and marked by progress.
Anyway, the lesson is: stick to your daily exercises and many more flexions and extensions, even though progress is around the corner. I paid for my mistake and will definitely remember to stretch that leg.
I managed to water all of my potted plants which takes half an hour even with a good knee. But I did fine, pruning some dead flowers here and there.
Rain has left California but not for long. Another storm is on its way, perhaps as early as tonight.
Tomorrow is my monthly book club and I can't wait to see my friends. I have missed one meeting after my surgery.
So the weekend should be nice and marked by progress.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
March 24, 2001
Yeah!!!
I biked today!
Okay, it is a stationary bike, the seat has a back and my speed... Well my speed wasn't my concern today. My goal was to pedal and I did pedal for five minutes. I only stopped once to wipe a tear (okay, this knee thing is making me melodramatic) that came instantly when I was able to push the pedal all the way down and up.
The good news besides my excitement is an improvement in my extension. Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to pedal. So I will ask my friend Wanda if she is still willing to let me use her bike.
Progress is on its way and I will do everything I can to speed up the whole process. More flexions, more extensions, more bridges, more of everything until I regain my cherished mobility.
Six more weeks should do, no?
It is another rainy day here in the foothills and it gives me the perfect excuse to write, read and...do my indoor exercises.
I biked today!
Okay, it is a stationary bike, the seat has a back and my speed... Well my speed wasn't my concern today. My goal was to pedal and I did pedal for five minutes. I only stopped once to wipe a tear (okay, this knee thing is making me melodramatic) that came instantly when I was able to push the pedal all the way down and up.
The good news besides my excitement is an improvement in my extension. Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to pedal. So I will ask my friend Wanda if she is still willing to let me use her bike.
Progress is on its way and I will do everything I can to speed up the whole process. More flexions, more extensions, more bridges, more of everything until I regain my cherished mobility.
Six more weeks should do, no?
It is another rainy day here in the foothills and it gives me the perfect excuse to write, read and...do my indoor exercises.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
March 22nd, 2011
Yesterday marked the beginning of a more advanced physical therapy.
Five weeks of protective exercises and now six weeks of more aggressive treatment with two goals in mind: mobility optimal of my left knee and muscular strength.
In order to reach these two goals, I am now working on leg press without the support of the leg brace. I love how working on equipment makes me feel more like my old self.
In addition to the leg press, I work another machine that helps with my quad.
I work also with a wedge on which I step, my left heel dug in the ground while my right foot remains flat, parallel. It is designed to stretch the muscle in the lower part of left calf. I am also adding bridges to my straight and side leg raise.
The good news is that I can do all the exercises. The bad news is how weak my body has turned. The good news is that I wasn't sore when I woke up. The bad news is that my extension is still a work in progress. The good news is that I still have more than six weeks of therapy. The bad news is that the weather is gorgeous again and that I can't go on a hike. The good news is that happy trails are waiting for me.
Five weeks of protective exercises and now six weeks of more aggressive treatment with two goals in mind: mobility optimal of my left knee and muscular strength.
In order to reach these two goals, I am now working on leg press without the support of the leg brace. I love how working on equipment makes me feel more like my old self.
In addition to the leg press, I work another machine that helps with my quad.
I work also with a wedge on which I step, my left heel dug in the ground while my right foot remains flat, parallel. It is designed to stretch the muscle in the lower part of left calf. I am also adding bridges to my straight and side leg raise.
The good news is that I can do all the exercises. The bad news is how weak my body has turned. The good news is that I wasn't sore when I woke up. The bad news is that my extension is still a work in progress. The good news is that I still have more than six weeks of therapy. The bad news is that the weather is gorgeous again and that I can't go on a hike. The good news is that happy trails are waiting for me.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
March 20th
Violent rain and wind are storming above California. This is when the comfort of home and a warm cup of tea feel like the best things in the world. Especially when the body is still healing from surgery.
I am no doubt progressing in my recovery. The flexion of my knee is better. And the extension, my nightmare, is finally giving way.
At dinner on Friday night, I got to talk to one of my daughter's classmates' father who went through the same surgery five years ago, with the same surgeon as well. Last year, he hiked to the top of Machu Pichu in Peru so I guess this can only give hope and inspiration.
Actually during the dinner, I didn't even think of my knee. That's how good I felt. Until I stood up and limped to the restroom!
Tomorrow, I am starting a new phase in the physical therapy and I am excited.
As rain beats against the windows and pine trees bend under the strong gusts of wind, I do my exercises, thinking of sun and soft breezes.
Although today marks the beginning of spring, it is winter again in the foothills and in a way I am glad, for it gives me extra time to get ready for a nice walk early summer.
I am no doubt progressing in my recovery. The flexion of my knee is better. And the extension, my nightmare, is finally giving way.
At dinner on Friday night, I got to talk to one of my daughter's classmates' father who went through the same surgery five years ago, with the same surgeon as well. Last year, he hiked to the top of Machu Pichu in Peru so I guess this can only give hope and inspiration.
Actually during the dinner, I didn't even think of my knee. That's how good I felt. Until I stood up and limped to the restroom!
Tomorrow, I am starting a new phase in the physical therapy and I am excited.
As rain beats against the windows and pine trees bend under the strong gusts of wind, I do my exercises, thinking of sun and soft breezes.
Although today marks the beginning of spring, it is winter again in the foothills and in a way I am glad, for it gives me extra time to get ready for a nice walk early summer.
Friday, March 18, 2011
March 18th, 2011
Physical therapy early morning. Rain is on its way to California. Is it better for the radiations coming from Japan? I'm not worried although the ever changing news can trigger fear. Trying to focus on my personal improvement.
Next week I will start a new exercises program. Great, because I was getting bored! I will also do every single exercise including the leg press without my brace.
After therapy I met two of my friends and it was nice to step in the cafe without a brace. As long as people don't look too closely, it is impossible to know that my left knee has a life on its own and doesn't obey my command yet.
Tonight my husband and I are having a fundraising dinner for our children's school. I am looking forward to trading my sweat pants and sports jacket for some real clothes. Even my sneakers have to go. High heels, I miss you but I will be wise and pick a pair of flats.
This Sunday my daughter is turning seventeen and I will bake a cake. I still have to pick which one but I am anticipating the pleasure of being in the kitchen and baking a birthday cake.
I suppose it is a good sign of improvement.
Even my limp doesn't look that bad this afternoon. Yeah!!!
Next week I will start a new exercises program. Great, because I was getting bored! I will also do every single exercise including the leg press without my brace.
After therapy I met two of my friends and it was nice to step in the cafe without a brace. As long as people don't look too closely, it is impossible to know that my left knee has a life on its own and doesn't obey my command yet.
Tonight my husband and I are having a fundraising dinner for our children's school. I am looking forward to trading my sweat pants and sports jacket for some real clothes. Even my sneakers have to go. High heels, I miss you but I will be wise and pick a pair of flats.
This Sunday my daughter is turning seventeen and I will bake a cake. I still have to pick which one but I am anticipating the pleasure of being in the kitchen and baking a birthday cake.
I suppose it is a good sign of improvement.
Even my limp doesn't look that bad this afternoon. Yeah!!!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
March 16th, 2011
I am returning, day after day, to a more normal life even though my gait isn't normal.
I drove to school early today under a pouring rain. After drop off, I went to one of my favorites Starbucks where I wrote for an hour and a half. I left, afraid that my leg would be too stiff if I sat for a longer time.
I brought ice in a cooler, so I could freshen up before attending Town Hall where, every month, I always meet one of my best friends.
The lecture was about new energies, clean energies and the role of California in this field.
Quite timely!
More about it on my regular blog!
Then I drove home for lunch. I left so early this morning (shortly before seven) that I had skipped my half hour exercises. So, I did them early afternoon. Although I still limp, I feel better. I spent almost two hours cleaning the bathrooms (only three since I skipped upstairs), dusting the furniture and vacuuming most of the house. I recommend this work-out when the gym is out of reach. Not as much fun but keeps you moving!
I deserved a break and made some Chai tea that I sipped, listening to music and icing my knee. I'd rather hear the musical clinking sound of the ice cubes in a margarita, but for now I must do with ice pads. What a life!
I checked my e-mail, sent a long one to my sister and spoke with a friend who will visit me hopefully tomorrow. Yeah!
My kids are now back from school and my son brings home an A in math.
Although Japan is a mess, it is so far a very decent day and I am looking forward to many more as I progress.
This kind of stuff gives you a new appreciation for the little pleasures of life.
I drove to school early today under a pouring rain. After drop off, I went to one of my favorites Starbucks where I wrote for an hour and a half. I left, afraid that my leg would be too stiff if I sat for a longer time.
I brought ice in a cooler, so I could freshen up before attending Town Hall where, every month, I always meet one of my best friends.
The lecture was about new energies, clean energies and the role of California in this field.
Quite timely!
More about it on my regular blog!
Then I drove home for lunch. I left so early this morning (shortly before seven) that I had skipped my half hour exercises. So, I did them early afternoon. Although I still limp, I feel better. I spent almost two hours cleaning the bathrooms (only three since I skipped upstairs), dusting the furniture and vacuuming most of the house. I recommend this work-out when the gym is out of reach. Not as much fun but keeps you moving!
I deserved a break and made some Chai tea that I sipped, listening to music and icing my knee. I'd rather hear the musical clinking sound of the ice cubes in a margarita, but for now I must do with ice pads. What a life!
I checked my e-mail, sent a long one to my sister and spoke with a friend who will visit me hopefully tomorrow. Yeah!
My kids are now back from school and my son brings home an A in math.
Although Japan is a mess, it is so far a very decent day and I am looking forward to many more as I progress.
This kind of stuff gives you a new appreciation for the little pleasures of life.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
March 15th, 2011
I wake up earlier which is a challenge when the sky is grey and we have changed hours. After all, it is only 6:00 am the old time.
I have slept better, my leg isn't as stiff and if I can't wiggle my left knee, I can at least get beyond 100 degrees.
This week is a busy one with dentist and orthodontist appointments for my kids, a town hall meeting, a critique with my writing group, my daughter's birthday, a school fundraising dinner and a physical therapy.
So, although the nuclear reactors are worrisome in Japan, the weather forecast predicts rain in California and I miss the gym, I am ready to give my full energy to the next few days.
Even if it is on a slower pace.
I have slept better, my leg isn't as stiff and if I can't wiggle my left knee, I can at least get beyond 100 degrees.
This week is a busy one with dentist and orthodontist appointments for my kids, a town hall meeting, a critique with my writing group, my daughter's birthday, a school fundraising dinner and a physical therapy.
So, although the nuclear reactors are worrisome in Japan, the weather forecast predicts rain in California and I miss the gym, I am ready to give my full energy to the next few days.
Even if it is on a slower pace.
Monday, March 14, 2011
March 14th ,2011
I feel better than I have in days.
Dr. Simonian looked at my knee and guaranteed me of a successful recovery. He prescribed six more weeks of physical therapy and two Iboprufen a day to help the remaining swelling to vanish.
I still have the same exercises to do until Friday but starting then, I will start a more advanced training with stationary bike, more leg presses and other strength exercises.
My next check-up is early May. By then, Dr. Simonian promises greater progress.
So tonight, as I dream of a better spring, I focus on flexions and extensions punctuated with icing.
I see the shores of hope tonight and although I'm not yet on top of a summit, I have reached the camp ground. I will unpack my bag and get ready for the bright morning that will signal my full recovery.
Dr. Simonian looked at my knee and guaranteed me of a successful recovery. He prescribed six more weeks of physical therapy and two Iboprufen a day to help the remaining swelling to vanish.
I still have the same exercises to do until Friday but starting then, I will start a more advanced training with stationary bike, more leg presses and other strength exercises.
My next check-up is early May. By then, Dr. Simonian promises greater progress.
So tonight, as I dream of a better spring, I focus on flexions and extensions punctuated with icing.
I see the shores of hope tonight and although I'm not yet on top of a summit, I have reached the camp ground. I will unpack my bag and get ready for the bright morning that will signal my full recovery.
March 14th, 2011
The Big Day has come!
Today I am seeing my surgeon, Dr. Simonian, for my seven-week post-surgery check-up. I am having physical therapy right before so I am hoping to get a good report card!
I spent a tough Sunday morning with a lot of pain in my upper thigh due to the fact that my knee is still not straight and it is affecting my gait.
But yesterday afternoon went much better. I had a small gathering at my kids' school and I was able to walk around without the brace. Actually, I feel better when I walk. Sitting for hours is bad as my knee gets stiff as the rest of my leg.
The night was okay with stiffness in my thigh as if I had climbed the Mist Trail (which by the way has never been an issue for me so far!). However, as soon as I stood up, the pain eased. I am now able to take a shower without sitting and it is quite nice to let the water run above my head. I iced my knee and did some flexions and extensions.
If the extension was as good as the flexion I would walk really well. So at least I know what my focus should be.
Yesterday, I spoke with a few people who have friends or relatives who went through similar surgery and all said that therapy was crucial. They also told of a few friends who had a hard time to get their extension back. A couple never did.
It freaked me out so much that I spent the evening watching the incredibly sad pictures of Japan, pressing down my knee as much as I could. I have to break down the scarring tissues and it is a challenge that, a;though tough, can't match the TV news.
Today the pain in my thigh has diminished and I feel better. It is muscular and I know it will fade.
I am impatient to see the surgeon and attack phase three of my therapy which I know will be more aggressive.
Summer hikes, here I come!
Today I am seeing my surgeon, Dr. Simonian, for my seven-week post-surgery check-up. I am having physical therapy right before so I am hoping to get a good report card!
I spent a tough Sunday morning with a lot of pain in my upper thigh due to the fact that my knee is still not straight and it is affecting my gait.
But yesterday afternoon went much better. I had a small gathering at my kids' school and I was able to walk around without the brace. Actually, I feel better when I walk. Sitting for hours is bad as my knee gets stiff as the rest of my leg.
The night was okay with stiffness in my thigh as if I had climbed the Mist Trail (which by the way has never been an issue for me so far!). However, as soon as I stood up, the pain eased. I am now able to take a shower without sitting and it is quite nice to let the water run above my head. I iced my knee and did some flexions and extensions.
If the extension was as good as the flexion I would walk really well. So at least I know what my focus should be.
Yesterday, I spoke with a few people who have friends or relatives who went through similar surgery and all said that therapy was crucial. They also told of a few friends who had a hard time to get their extension back. A couple never did.
It freaked me out so much that I spent the evening watching the incredibly sad pictures of Japan, pressing down my knee as much as I could. I have to break down the scarring tissues and it is a challenge that, a;though tough, can't match the TV news.
Today the pain in my thigh has diminished and I feel better. It is muscular and I know it will fade.
I am impatient to see the surgeon and attack phase three of my therapy which I know will be more aggressive.
Summer hikes, here I come!
Saturday, March 12, 2011
March 12th, 2011
If only there were no nights or rather, no need to sleep!
As much as my days fly by quick and busy, even though I still limp, my nights are filled with bouts of sleep cut with moments of pain. I must say that pain isn't excruciating but it still wakes me up. My knee itself doesn't bother me actually during the night but I feel pain below my hip as if I had stretched too much. I wonder if the hamstring exercises could induce this kind of discomfort.
When early morning arrives, I am both glad that the sun is finally up and anxious to step out of my bed. But usually, although I feel stiff, there is relief to be up.
I am now able to take a shower without any help and it's great. I have regained some dignity here. My son had said last night that he would make French toasts for breakfast before tackling his load of weekend homework. Since my husband is busy today, my son and I share yummy slices (he is quite the chef!) in the quietness of the house while we plan the weekend. His sister could drive us for coffee early afternoon since she needs more driving practice. He will do his physics and latin while I will alternate knee extensions and flexions with a lot of icing.
I have started a new YA novel while I wait for answers to the queries I sent in January and February. I should return to it today since I have spent quite some time developing my main characters. The plot is coming along. I know the beginning and the ending. I always know the ending before I start anything. It keeps me focused as I write. Also the latest Jodi Picoult is out and I won't be able to resist long before buying it.
It is another beautiful spring day on the foothills and while I am itching for a long walk, I feel content to have a porch and a terrace where I can sit and write and read while enjoying the warmth of the sun on my skin.
As much as my days fly by quick and busy, even though I still limp, my nights are filled with bouts of sleep cut with moments of pain. I must say that pain isn't excruciating but it still wakes me up. My knee itself doesn't bother me actually during the night but I feel pain below my hip as if I had stretched too much. I wonder if the hamstring exercises could induce this kind of discomfort.
When early morning arrives, I am both glad that the sun is finally up and anxious to step out of my bed. But usually, although I feel stiff, there is relief to be up.
I am now able to take a shower without any help and it's great. I have regained some dignity here. My son had said last night that he would make French toasts for breakfast before tackling his load of weekend homework. Since my husband is busy today, my son and I share yummy slices (he is quite the chef!) in the quietness of the house while we plan the weekend. His sister could drive us for coffee early afternoon since she needs more driving practice. He will do his physics and latin while I will alternate knee extensions and flexions with a lot of icing.
I have started a new YA novel while I wait for answers to the queries I sent in January and February. I should return to it today since I have spent quite some time developing my main characters. The plot is coming along. I know the beginning and the ending. I always know the ending before I start anything. It keeps me focused as I write. Also the latest Jodi Picoult is out and I won't be able to resist long before buying it.
It is another beautiful spring day on the foothills and while I am itching for a long walk, I feel content to have a porch and a terrace where I can sit and write and read while enjoying the warmth of the sun on my skin.
Friday, March 11, 2011
March 11th, 2011
I spent a pretty good night even though I decided to take my brace off when I went to sleep shortly before midnight. I figured that if I don't want to keep this brace on for the rest of my life, I'd better get rid of it ASAP. But I'm also aware that the reason I sleep better with it on, is because it keeps my leg from moving into a discomfortable position that ultimately wakes me up. So I tricked my knee with slipping a pillow underneath. It worked!
I checked my e-mail as I ate my cereal and sipped my mug of tea. One of my friends was suggesting coffee in town. The new me who walks thought,"Why not?'
Since I can now step in and out of the shower stall without any help, it was fun to get ready alone. I met my friend at 10:30 and the weather was so nice that we sat outside. I kept my brace handy in case but it's so much more comfortable without that I didn't put it on. Yet, sitting for a couple of hours was hard on my knee and it was stiff when I stood up.
Back home, I iced it and did some flexion and extension exercises. The hardest part remains the extension. It would be so much easier to walk without a limp if I could improve it.
I have two days and one therapy session before the surgeon's check up and I hope to get a better mobility by then.
But the worries of my knee are nothing compared to the earthquake and tsunami that hit Japan.
I checked my e-mail as I ate my cereal and sipped my mug of tea. One of my friends was suggesting coffee in town. The new me who walks thought,"Why not?'
Since I can now step in and out of the shower stall without any help, it was fun to get ready alone. I met my friend at 10:30 and the weather was so nice that we sat outside. I kept my brace handy in case but it's so much more comfortable without that I didn't put it on. Yet, sitting for a couple of hours was hard on my knee and it was stiff when I stood up.
Back home, I iced it and did some flexion and extension exercises. The hardest part remains the extension. It would be so much easier to walk without a limp if I could improve it.
I have two days and one therapy session before the surgeon's check up and I hope to get a better mobility by then.
But the worries of my knee are nothing compared to the earthquake and tsunami that hit Japan.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
March 10th, 2011
Hip, hip, hip, hooray!
I WALK without a leg brace. I didn't say I run! But I got the green light today. Although I see the surgeon on Monday afternoon for the surgery follow up, the MPT who has seen me since my ski fall, was confident that I could do it.
And I did!
So now, as long as I am at home, I can walk around on my two feet. What a great feeling it is to retrieve the use of my legs! I will forever be grateful to the people who have been taking care of me since my accident. I'm far from being finished, but today marks a big step.
Now, that I am seven weeks past surgery, I remember the important steps since then:
- immobility for a week
- two crutches and a leg brace
- one crutch, a leg brace
- no crutches, a leg brace
- no leg brace, TWO FEET
During the following weeks, I will be focusing on strength exercises and fluidity of my gait.
And of course, I should not forget to ice as often as six times a day.
Today is a perfect spring day here in the California foothills and I feel like going on a hike.
I cannot yet but this morning, as I made my first steps out of the brace, I was on top of the world.
I WALK without a leg brace. I didn't say I run! But I got the green light today. Although I see the surgeon on Monday afternoon for the surgery follow up, the MPT who has seen me since my ski fall, was confident that I could do it.
And I did!
So now, as long as I am at home, I can walk around on my two feet. What a great feeling it is to retrieve the use of my legs! I will forever be grateful to the people who have been taking care of me since my accident. I'm far from being finished, but today marks a big step.
Now, that I am seven weeks past surgery, I remember the important steps since then:
- immobility for a week
- two crutches and a leg brace
- one crutch, a leg brace
- no crutches, a leg brace
- no leg brace, TWO FEET
During the following weeks, I will be focusing on strength exercises and fluidity of my gait.
And of course, I should not forget to ice as often as six times a day.
Today is a perfect spring day here in the California foothills and I feel like going on a hike.
I cannot yet but this morning, as I made my first steps out of the brace, I was on top of the world.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
March 9th, 2011
Nights follow each other but can be so different. Last night I tried to sleep without my brace since my leg felt so much better, but pain along my thigh woke me up and I drifted away only after I slipped the brace back on.
What if I have to wear it forever? I know, these are my crazy thoughts when I am awake.
Now that sun pours in the house and I have a lunch meeting with two of my friends, hope is back. And for good reasons.
First, I can definitely flex my knee way past the 90% expected by now. I'm sure I have reached the flexion range (115%) I regained before surgery.
Then, the extension is much better. There is less of a gap between the bed where I do my exercises and the back of my knee.
Finally, I do my exercises in a breeze and I'm ready for challenge.
What amazes me though is the contrast between a state of the art surgery and the old fashioned recovery process. In my case, the reconstruction of the ACL, a partial reconstruction of the MCL, and the cleaning of the menisci took twenty minutes. The surgery was non invasive and the scars are minimal. I'm sure they will fade eventually. Great high tech job.
But the post surgery compared to this modern operation is almost ancient. The physical therapy is wonderful and shows progress but in our fast pace world, it is strange that nothing faster has been found.
The medical world is changing at a rapid pace and the surgery I got is now a common procedure. Yet when it comes to reeducation, patience is the only way to go.
I am learning. Slowly and reluctantly but definitely aware that there is nothing I can do besides completing my homework, day after day and hoping as night creeps in, that my knee will feel less stiff and more mobile.
The good news is that it does. Day after day.
What if I have to wear it forever? I know, these are my crazy thoughts when I am awake.
Now that sun pours in the house and I have a lunch meeting with two of my friends, hope is back. And for good reasons.
First, I can definitely flex my knee way past the 90% expected by now. I'm sure I have reached the flexion range (115%) I regained before surgery.
Then, the extension is much better. There is less of a gap between the bed where I do my exercises and the back of my knee.
Finally, I do my exercises in a breeze and I'm ready for challenge.
What amazes me though is the contrast between a state of the art surgery and the old fashioned recovery process. In my case, the reconstruction of the ACL, a partial reconstruction of the MCL, and the cleaning of the menisci took twenty minutes. The surgery was non invasive and the scars are minimal. I'm sure they will fade eventually. Great high tech job.
But the post surgery compared to this modern operation is almost ancient. The physical therapy is wonderful and shows progress but in our fast pace world, it is strange that nothing faster has been found.
The medical world is changing at a rapid pace and the surgery I got is now a common procedure. Yet when it comes to reeducation, patience is the only way to go.
I am learning. Slowly and reluctantly but definitely aware that there is nothing I can do besides completing my homework, day after day and hoping as night creeps in, that my knee will feel less stiff and more mobile.
The good news is that it does. Day after day.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
March 8th, 2011
I spent one of the few good nights, if not the best, since my surgery.
I feel one hundred times better. Also, the therapist yesterday has worked so hard on my knee to loosen up the scarring tissues that my knee has regained most of its shape.
I can't extend my leg yet but as I did my straight leg raise, I could feel how easier and smoother it was.
I got an email from a friend who had a pretty bad knee accident (also skiing) years ago and she's urging me to do my physical therapy with diligence as well as icing my knee with regularity. I've been recommended the same and I follow these advice with a religious fervor.
It helps that I am disciplined to start with and that I love physical activity.
The weather is gorgeous here in the foothills and although I miss a good hike in the sun, I start my day on a good foot, if I can say!
I feel one hundred times better. Also, the therapist yesterday has worked so hard on my knee to loosen up the scarring tissues that my knee has regained most of its shape.
I can't extend my leg yet but as I did my straight leg raise, I could feel how easier and smoother it was.
I got an email from a friend who had a pretty bad knee accident (also skiing) years ago and she's urging me to do my physical therapy with diligence as well as icing my knee with regularity. I've been recommended the same and I follow these advice with a religious fervor.
It helps that I am disciplined to start with and that I love physical activity.
The weather is gorgeous here in the foothills and although I miss a good hike in the sun, I start my day on a good foot, if I can say!
Monday, March 7, 2011
March 7th, 2011
YEAH!!!!
Like a baby claps in her hands when she walks her very first steps, I applaud myself for stepping from one table to another without my leg brace.
The MPT who follows me was back from a week of vacation and we assessed my progress and my set backs.
Definitely neat improvement in the flexion of the knee. I passed by far the 90% that was expected for my check up.
Definitely work needed to improve the extension of the knee which can't be fully extend, perhaps due to tissue scarring.
I had new exercises today, added to the classics. Leg press and stepping on a wood block to imitate the climbing of stairs. Exciting!
The good news is that my MPT confirms that I will leave Dr. Simonian's office (my surgeon)on my two feet, my brace under my arm. I will keep it of course for more work out but I will WALK.
I won't gallop yet, neither will I hike soon. But progress is there and I feel hope flowing through my lungs.
Summer, here I come!
Like a baby claps in her hands when she walks her very first steps, I applaud myself for stepping from one table to another without my leg brace.
The MPT who follows me was back from a week of vacation and we assessed my progress and my set backs.
Definitely neat improvement in the flexion of the knee. I passed by far the 90% that was expected for my check up.
Definitely work needed to improve the extension of the knee which can't be fully extend, perhaps due to tissue scarring.
I had new exercises today, added to the classics. Leg press and stepping on a wood block to imitate the climbing of stairs. Exciting!
The good news is that my MPT confirms that I will leave Dr. Simonian's office (my surgeon)on my two feet, my brace under my arm. I will keep it of course for more work out but I will WALK.
I won't gallop yet, neither will I hike soon. But progress is there and I feel hope flowing through my lungs.
Summer, here I come!
Sunday, March 6, 2011
March 6th, 2011
Since the PT told me that the area of concern with my knee is the extension, I have been working a lot on it and also I admit, worrying about it. What if I can't ever extend my leg? Then, I won't ever walk again. Crazy thoughts like that enter my brain mostly at night when everything is dark and more frightening.
Days are full of optimism and I keep myself busy with a lot of reading and writing. Instead of focusing on the wonderful rejections I receive from agents or editors, I started a new novel. Dark and full of suspense. A little like my life now.
Last night was awful. I took my brace off after hours of turning from one side to the other. And I put it back when pain woke me up every half hour. The pain shot from my knee up to my hip. It is not muscular. I've hiked enough and exercised enough to spot a sore muscle. Is it from the many the exercises I did yesterday? Is it normal? What if I can't ever sleep a full night sleep?
Then, as always when pain has kept me awake, sleep finally arrived early morning and I opened my eyes around 9:30 am which is for me late, even on a Sunday.
I had breakfast with my husband and kids and since it is raining I canceled my plans with my daughter. She was supposed to drive us down to town for coffee and a few errands. Although I am not in pain anymore, the idea of being in a car for an hour wasn't so much fun and instead my husband went so our daughter could drive.
I did my exercises and iced my knee while my son was sharing his school projects and even his college plans. He is fourteen.
Rain has stopped but the mountains are sealed under fog and maybe even snow. My friend Wanda left a comment on my last post. She went snow shoeing with friends yesterday and thought of how much I would have loved it.
While I am healing, sensory flashbacks roam in my mind: the mist on my face and legs on the Mist Trail, the hot breath of the late summer wind before Nevada Fall, the golden dust on my legs as I climb the switchbacks to Clouds Rest, the first ray of sun at the top of Half Dome after a moonlight ascension, the perfect turquoise water at Havasu Falls, and so many more that haunt my memory.
All whisper the same words: heal, heal, heal, we are waiting for you.
Days are full of optimism and I keep myself busy with a lot of reading and writing. Instead of focusing on the wonderful rejections I receive from agents or editors, I started a new novel. Dark and full of suspense. A little like my life now.
Last night was awful. I took my brace off after hours of turning from one side to the other. And I put it back when pain woke me up every half hour. The pain shot from my knee up to my hip. It is not muscular. I've hiked enough and exercised enough to spot a sore muscle. Is it from the many the exercises I did yesterday? Is it normal? What if I can't ever sleep a full night sleep?
Then, as always when pain has kept me awake, sleep finally arrived early morning and I opened my eyes around 9:30 am which is for me late, even on a Sunday.
I had breakfast with my husband and kids and since it is raining I canceled my plans with my daughter. She was supposed to drive us down to town for coffee and a few errands. Although I am not in pain anymore, the idea of being in a car for an hour wasn't so much fun and instead my husband went so our daughter could drive.
I did my exercises and iced my knee while my son was sharing his school projects and even his college plans. He is fourteen.
Rain has stopped but the mountains are sealed under fog and maybe even snow. My friend Wanda left a comment on my last post. She went snow shoeing with friends yesterday and thought of how much I would have loved it.
While I am healing, sensory flashbacks roam in my mind: the mist on my face and legs on the Mist Trail, the hot breath of the late summer wind before Nevada Fall, the golden dust on my legs as I climb the switchbacks to Clouds Rest, the first ray of sun at the top of Half Dome after a moonlight ascension, the perfect turquoise water at Havasu Falls, and so many more that haunt my memory.
All whisper the same words: heal, heal, heal, we are waiting for you.
Friday, March 4, 2011
March 4th, 2011
Since the physical therapist worked my knee a lot yesterday afternoon to release the resistance, the night was pretty bad. I felt tension on the left side of my bad knee, probably the MCL and from my toes to my hip, results I'm sure of the two hours of exercises.
Besides, I also spent an hour with my left leg fully extended on the sofa. Pretty intense when the goal is to press down the knee to the max. The good news is that I was meanwhile watching and listening to Matt Damon, Piers Morgan's guest last night. What a smart and talented actor and man! A change after Charlie Sheen, earlier in the week.
It's sad that I know CNN so well. But being stuck home so much has transformed me in a Piers Morgan's fan. He's not that bad anyway. I think he's professional and I love British accents, although it can be hard to understand after so many years in California.
However, the benefits of my physical therapy and my own torture session are notable this morning. The gap between the back of my knee and the surface of my daughter's bed (the best for my condition) has closed since yesterday. Yeah!
It is my weekend goal to increase the progress. I have a big incentive: WALK.
It is indeed impossible to walk without a proper extension of the knee. Never paid attention before. The flexion is still a work in progress but is less of a challenge now and besides it is less crucial for a better gait.
The sun is warm on the foothills and I will read outside this afternoon, enjoying an early spring before maybe the return of the rain.
But this the weather forecast so it will probably be beautiful all week long.
Besides, I also spent an hour with my left leg fully extended on the sofa. Pretty intense when the goal is to press down the knee to the max. The good news is that I was meanwhile watching and listening to Matt Damon, Piers Morgan's guest last night. What a smart and talented actor and man! A change after Charlie Sheen, earlier in the week.
It's sad that I know CNN so well. But being stuck home so much has transformed me in a Piers Morgan's fan. He's not that bad anyway. I think he's professional and I love British accents, although it can be hard to understand after so many years in California.
However, the benefits of my physical therapy and my own torture session are notable this morning. The gap between the back of my knee and the surface of my daughter's bed (the best for my condition) has closed since yesterday. Yeah!
It is my weekend goal to increase the progress. I have a big incentive: WALK.
It is indeed impossible to walk without a proper extension of the knee. Never paid attention before. The flexion is still a work in progress but is less of a challenge now and besides it is less crucial for a better gait.
The sun is warm on the foothills and I will read outside this afternoon, enjoying an early spring before maybe the return of the rain.
But this the weather forecast so it will probably be beautiful all week long.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
March 3rd, 2011
I had physical therapy this afternoon and I was really excited since my last one went well and I was told that there was a big chance for me to walk without a brace after my check up mid March.
So in between I did my homework, focusing on the extension of my leg since the flexion goes pretty well.
Today I got a different PA because mine is in vacation. She was very pleasant, and we even had a mini French lesson since she wants to learn my native language. Then, I shared my concerns about the extension of my leg. She agreed that most people struggle more with the flexion than the extension. She massaged my knee with a lotion and put some pressure to push it down. I feel resistance and not pain which is a bummer since I know I can't walk with a bent knee. The PA told me that sometimes patients scar quicker than others and tissues build up, creating resistance.
Tonight, I worry a little and hope that by the 14th when I see my surgeon, the extension will be better. Meanwhile, I must relax my leg as much as I can, all the time keeping it straight since it always wants to go towards the left. So if I watch TV or read a book on the sofa, I must stretch my leg on the side, trying to close the gap between the back of my knee and the sofa.
I still spent a good day, taking care of the laundry and details of life.
I am finishing the memoirs of Keith Richards and even though I didn't like the very beginning, his telling of his childhood and youth are honest and touching. His passion for music oozes from the detailed passages about song writing and guitar playing.
It's a book to keep you company when illness or injury keeps you away from your own passion.
So in between I did my homework, focusing on the extension of my leg since the flexion goes pretty well.
Today I got a different PA because mine is in vacation. She was very pleasant, and we even had a mini French lesson since she wants to learn my native language. Then, I shared my concerns about the extension of my leg. She agreed that most people struggle more with the flexion than the extension. She massaged my knee with a lotion and put some pressure to push it down. I feel resistance and not pain which is a bummer since I know I can't walk with a bent knee. The PA told me that sometimes patients scar quicker than others and tissues build up, creating resistance.
Tonight, I worry a little and hope that by the 14th when I see my surgeon, the extension will be better. Meanwhile, I must relax my leg as much as I can, all the time keeping it straight since it always wants to go towards the left. So if I watch TV or read a book on the sofa, I must stretch my leg on the side, trying to close the gap between the back of my knee and the sofa.
I still spent a good day, taking care of the laundry and details of life.
I am finishing the memoirs of Keith Richards and even though I didn't like the very beginning, his telling of his childhood and youth are honest and touching. His passion for music oozes from the detailed passages about song writing and guitar playing.
It's a book to keep you company when illness or injury keeps you away from your own passion.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
March 2nd, 2011
The day doesn't start that well. I planned to wake up early but the night was pretty bad. My leg hurt and I woke up every hour. Most of the small bandages fell after I started to take daily showers. Only three are left where the stitches have been removed a week after surgery. This is the area that is sometimes bothering me. Also, my leg falls asleep once in a while and heaviness wakes me up. I'm tired at 6:00 am when my husband wakes up and I drift away until 8:30. Too bad! I dreamed of being all ready for once.
It rained last night and the sky is low and grey when I push the curtains open. But I have an early afternoon meeting with two of my good friends and I am looking forward to driving again and to seeing my friends. So I push myself as I go through my "boring" morning routine. Icing of my knee, breakfast, shower, exercises for my knee, more icing. Finally it's time to go.
Driving a car is like biking: you never forget. I haven't been being the wheels since the 4th of January. Never happened since I got my license. And it feels soooo good!
I meet the sun, ten miles from my home and it's 70 when I park my car across La Boulangerie. This is always a great spot to get coffee and pastries. The owner is from France and bakes delicious cakes, tarts, croissants and even specialty such as La Galette des Rois for Epiphany and La Buche de Noel for Christmas.
I am excited to walk on my own, without crutches and only a brace that I even manage to hide under my trench coat. I know, it's too warm for a coat but it comes handy when you wear a black leg brace.
My friends show up shortly after, and we have as always a great time sharing news about our families and then our writing. Before picking up my two high school kids, I have enough time to stop by CVS and buy a good body lotion, much needed after surgery to both boost my moral and improve the skin of my left leg.
Then, to celebrate my great day, I invite my kids for a drink at Starbucks. It feels like summer this afternoon and they both pick a cold drink. I stick to a hot chai tea latte. After all, it is only early March. What will I order in July when temperatures reach three digits, here in the valley?
I let my daughter drive home. She is so proud and she does so well that I am proud too.
Back home, I kick my boots off.
And ice my knee!
It rained last night and the sky is low and grey when I push the curtains open. But I have an early afternoon meeting with two of my good friends and I am looking forward to driving again and to seeing my friends. So I push myself as I go through my "boring" morning routine. Icing of my knee, breakfast, shower, exercises for my knee, more icing. Finally it's time to go.
Driving a car is like biking: you never forget. I haven't been being the wheels since the 4th of January. Never happened since I got my license. And it feels soooo good!
I meet the sun, ten miles from my home and it's 70 when I park my car across La Boulangerie. This is always a great spot to get coffee and pastries. The owner is from France and bakes delicious cakes, tarts, croissants and even specialty such as La Galette des Rois for Epiphany and La Buche de Noel for Christmas.
I am excited to walk on my own, without crutches and only a brace that I even manage to hide under my trench coat. I know, it's too warm for a coat but it comes handy when you wear a black leg brace.
My friends show up shortly after, and we have as always a great time sharing news about our families and then our writing. Before picking up my two high school kids, I have enough time to stop by CVS and buy a good body lotion, much needed after surgery to both boost my moral and improve the skin of my left leg.
Then, to celebrate my great day, I invite my kids for a drink at Starbucks. It feels like summer this afternoon and they both pick a cold drink. I stick to a hot chai tea latte. After all, it is only early March. What will I order in July when temperatures reach three digits, here in the valley?
I let my daughter drive home. She is so proud and she does so well that I am proud too.
Back home, I kick my boots off.
And ice my knee!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
March 1st, 2011
A new page on my calendar. March means spring. It is also my daughter's birthday. She is turning seventeen and wants to get her driver license before the big day. Her learning lessons have slowed down since I was the designed teacher. But we have resumed the training and she took me on beautiful back roads last weekend. Water rushed against boulders in the creeks, green new grass sprouted everywhere and wild flowers were putting on a last rehearsal before the big show of the spring.
March marks also my appointment with the surgeon and I am now working toward a good report. I spent a great day yesterday and was hoping for more improvement today but for some reason my knee seems a little stiffer. Perhaps because of my friend's visit, I sat for a longer time. So, this afternoon I am planning more workout.
Tomorrow I am driving alone to meet with two of my writing group members at La Boulangerie. I can't wait for a return to a more regular life. I can't wait to see them of course and share news about our writing.
More rain is expected sometime this week. I love rain and since I can't enjoy the great outdoors as much as I wish, selfishly I feel less cut from the rest of the world when the weather keeps everyone else inside as well.
See you on the trails!
March marks also my appointment with the surgeon and I am now working toward a good report. I spent a great day yesterday and was hoping for more improvement today but for some reason my knee seems a little stiffer. Perhaps because of my friend's visit, I sat for a longer time. So, this afternoon I am planning more workout.
Tomorrow I am driving alone to meet with two of my writing group members at La Boulangerie. I can't wait for a return to a more regular life. I can't wait to see them of course and share news about our writing.
More rain is expected sometime this week. I love rain and since I can't enjoy the great outdoors as much as I wish, selfishly I feel less cut from the rest of the world when the weather keeps everyone else inside as well.
See you on the trails!
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