I wake up every hour, pain shooting through the base of my left hip. Who would have known that a couple of ligaments hold so much of one body? I spend the early morning hours in pain, alternating three lines of my book and quick naps.
I’m scared now of the surgery and moreover of the post surgery. What if I can’t ever walk again?
The physical therapist said that after surgery I will be back to the meager 70% bending capacity I had after the accident. Great!
I’m also angry. Until this accident, I’ve done everything right. I do exercise every day. If not, I walk about three miles a day without counting the cleaning and the basics of running a household. Why me? But then, I hate self pity and I do my exercises, hoping that this moment of blues will pass. My two kids are up and I feel like a bad mom since I can’t take care of them as I have done until recently.
I’ve prepared every breakfast and almost every other meal for the last twenty years spent here in the USA. I’m not counting the ones I prepared in Paris for me and my husband when we were newly wed.
Arrrrgh!
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