January 30th, 2011

Much better night although sometimes a wave of panic washes over me. Maybe the medicine makes my heart race in the middle of the night. I feel warm and cold, sweaty and anxious. I ran a slight fever yesterday morning and the day before. Nothing to worry about since it was below 100 F but with the dose of Iboprufen it should be lower.
I went twice to the bathroom, around 3 and early morning when I agreed to swallow a Vicodin. I fell asleep slowly but nicely, in this strange state of awareness and abandon. It is raining and the sound on the skylight is pretty. I feel warm and cozy next to my husband and we go back to sleep until 8. I have breakfast around 9:30. Post surgery comes with a whole package of issues. One of them made me laugh until today. I had to take one of the laxative pills. Don't laugh! Surgery is not fun. The good news is that I feel much better.
Then I read more of Ken Follett. I received a card from my hiking buddy Wanda yesterday as well as the CD of my story for NPR. I’ll have to listen to it.
I have a lazy morning where I manage to put my foot on the ground and do my exercises. I have a hard time with the quadriceps setting. Pressing my knee down to regain some muscle in my thigh seems impossible. What if I never have strength in my leg again? I’m better with the straight leg raise and this is an encouragement.
My back and my shoulders don’t hurt so I guess that’s good news.
Each day should be easier. I check my e-mail and it’s nice to receive messages from my friends. Everyone is so nice.
My fourteen-year-old son is great and he and his dad are doing the best they can to make life goes on. They clean, cook and make fun of me which is exactly what I need.
My daughter calls from Berkeley. She has called every day.
It is almost 3:30 pm and the sun is back. My son and his dad went for a walk around the lake. I was getting tired of that walk but I miss it so much now. I just can’t wait for the day I’ll lace my sneakers again.
Tomorrow I will submit one of my picture book manuscripts to Andrea Brown Agency. She has now many agents all over the country and I’d like to find one who is interested in my work.
I watch X games with my son. Shawn White gets another gold medal. Seeing the snow and the slopes and these terrific snowboarders brings back the day of the accident. I’m glad it happened as I was having fun but I wished I had known it was my last ski day of my entire life.