February 4th, 2011

Better night so this is a good start for a sunny weekend. But my major obstacle is that I can’t walk without the crutches. I’m so worried that I call the physical therapist who took my pre surgery preparation under his care. He reassures me that it’s normal. What a nice word to hear when everything else fails. Then, he gives me a set of three exercises to do before we meet on Wednesday.
The first one is the worst. It’s the quad exercise that is designed to help the thigh muscle to regain strength. You do it by pressing your injured knee down to the surface where you work (I use my daughter’s narrow and hard bed. Poor thing, she has complained about it for a while. In fact, it is a perfect rehab bed). No offense but I’m someone who squat without a blink. Now, my injured leg is so weak that I can’t feel the contraction of any muscle.
Then, my usual favorite: the straight leg raise. It hurt like hell when I start. Actually, I can’t even do it and have to use my hand to lift my leg to begin. Then, it gets better. That one, I think I can master before Wednesday.
The last exercise is the dangle of the knee. Imagine you are at the pool and you dip your feet in the turquoise water. What a nice feeling, isn’t it? The image conjures pleasure, relaxation, fun, right? Do it with a swollen knee and a weak muscle and you get a slightly different picture.
So, this is my weekend program. Exciting, isn’t it? I’m kidding. I’m glad the accident is behind me, I’m glad the pre surgery and the surgery are behind me too. What’s left now is the post operation work which I already knew would be hard. But, it’s always like that.
Us, human beings, we hear things and think we have processed them until we are actually living them.
And that, my friend, is where we find ourselves. Often, less brave and more cautious than we thought we would be. Sometimes bolder and more daring than we expected to be.
I miss my knee when I never thought of it. I miss my strength when I took it for just a normal reward since I am an active person.
Once in a while, I wonder if there was anything I could have done to avoid this set back. Not skiing that day? I would be on two feet today. But again, it was one of the most perfect days I ever lived and just for the mountain picture like scenery, and the thrill of skiing down the slope, feeling the sun and the wind on my face and sweat down my back, I’m glad I skied.
Especially if ski season is forever over for me.